It seems like I've been away forever and honestly I can't really tell you what I've been up to... haha. However, within the last week or so I do recall some pretty awesome things happening.

Friday morning I text my cousin and ask her, "Is Kassie going to come out and play today?" The 29th was her due date but no one actually believed she would go into labor that day. But to our surprise about 30 minutes after I sent the text, my cousin calls and says her water broke. My mom and I quickly finish getting ready and go pick her up and take her to the hospital. At first they take her into triage and check a few things out and then sent her up to labor and delivery! So our day started at about 11am, we get her to the hospital at about noon and she's moved into her room at maybe 1pm. Of course she's feeling contractions and after checking how far she was dilated they offered to get her epidural, which she would gladly accept! Once she got settled and the epidural set in, my mom and I went to get something to eat hoping that she'll get a chance to nap. After lunch we head straight back to her room only to find her in pain once again.

This pain was pretty brutal to her and I felt so terrible because the only thing I could do was remind her about breathing and talk to her about things other than what was going on in the room. This went on for at least 3 hours? There were steps she had to reach such as reaching her maximum med. dose per hour, then absolutely MAXing it out, finally having the anastesiologist come back with a bolus of more meds which also didn't help and she ultimately received another epidural. Just being there with her, not even experiencing her pain... seemed like the longest 3 hours ever.

The whole day was a blur and honestly my timeline might be off. After her second epidural, we all tried to rest and for some reason it just didn't seem long enough but her pain started all over again. She tried switching sides, raising and lowering her head, hot packs and finally receiving another bolus of medication. At this point she had a terrible pain in her hip and I thought... is sympathy pain possible? Maybe I'm just crazy but I started to feel a terrible aching pain in my own. That's when I text  Jen, asking her if it exists and her response... knowing you, it does, I'm sure you're feeling it. With more epidural upsets I heard many things "Why isn't this working... Why me... God!..." I was standing next to my cousin while she was preparing for another contractiong and her phone made a sound. I go to check it as her contraction hit and I said it's STEVEN! Steven is her boyfriend who is currently deployed :( At this point not even Steven's message was offering comfort, she shot back with "Fuck Steven!!!" Which sent those of us in the room into laughter... I thought women only said things like that in movies! I heard other things as well "I hate Steven..." and also "Dolores, after seeing me like this do you still want to have kids?" As I tried to give her a comforting pat on the arm, I said Yes. She let out a sigh and looked at me like I was crazy, Don't do it!!!! I'm never doing this again... no more babies for me!!! I told her all those feelings will pass once Kassandra is here and she'll be too happy and excited to look back at the pain she's going through right now.

Time, time, time passes and eventually her pain settles too. 10:30 pm her doctor checks her again and she's at 8.5 cm! Only excitment is building now! Soon enough he comes back at about 11:30pm and she's good to go! With things going on around us... we start preparing and going through the delivery process with her nurse. My mom and I are at her legs with each contraction and her nurse is counting down. Finally at about 12:00am her doctor steps in and starts assisting with her coaching. 12:15am we can see crowning!! The nurse takes over my side and I take on camera duty. It was the most amazing thing ever, I feel so blessed to have been able to experience that with my cousin. 12:18am, we were wishing Happy Birthday to her new 8lbs 11oz, 20 inches baby girl (:

Pictures galore, smiles all around. I failed to mention the okay nurse we had at the beginning of the day, the grumpy nurse in the middle and the beyond fantastic nurse at the end! It was a long day and we stayed through a lot of the after stuff and wanted to make sure my cousin got settled in her next room. It was about 4:30am when we left her side... we were insanely tired but it was all well worth it!!

Please be patient, I did not reread this post to catch errors!! Haha, I'll probably reread it later and want to shoot myself because of the errors. I was going to share more but I figure the baby story was long enough. I'll of course share more birthday adventures soon.

Last night I went out to dinner for my cousin's boyfriends birthday. I have to say I had fun in random conversations which contributed to some great laughs. I showed up to my cousin's house with my chuck taylor's (switched to heels later), some tights, shorts and cream blouse on. Apparently my shorts were too short because everyone commented with something like Atay, where are your pants?! And some side comment was that all I needed were bunny ears and I would be set. I had a lot of fun though, watching Sam eat her chocolate cake and Becky attempting to drink her beverage that tasted like nail polish remover.

Earlier in the day I went out with Jessika and her son Joseph. We went to Seau's which is a sports bar/restaurant. Anyway, they also have a sushi bar and we went to try that out. The guys behind the bar were suuuuuuuuper friendly and were very sweet to us and Joseph. We ordered a crunchy roll for Joseph because it's usually something everyone likes and it seemed to be a safe bet that he would like it too. Kid chowed down that roll and of course told the Chef that it was good. We were SURPRISED to hear on our way home that he thought the sushi was gross. I asked Joseph, if you didn't like it why did you eat the WHOLE thing? He said, "...it made me throw up in my mouth a little but I didn't want to waste mommy's money." Awww (:

Well it's Sunday and of course back to work for me. So with it being Winter AND bad weather on the way it was slow at work and that means I have lots of time for facebook. My entire feed was FULL of love for the Chargers but unfortunately they lost...again. There's always next year guys... or the year after that? Haha, whatever the case may be win or lose... I still have my blue & gold on.

I think my next post will be on RF#5...

All week I've been struggling to fall asleep at night. Today as I was getting up, I settled on the idea that sleep is for the weak. -_-

Last night my cousin invited me to go to the movies in the morning with her and her boyfriend. It kind of surprised me because she's usually so uneasy about me hanging out with just them because she thinks I'll feel left out. I actually don't mind it at all... they're not that disgusting, uberly close, couple. I mean yeah, they hold hands or he pays for her stuff but I don't feel like the third wheel. Which is nice. I wonder if they felt like I was the third wheel? Haha. Anyway, we went and saw Sherlock Holmes. On my way into the mall I spotted an ambulance, which whenever I see the company ambulance I say to myself, "Hey, there's Jenny!" But this time I was actually right. I called her and told her I was there for a movie and once the movie was over she was actually at the food court waiting for a call. Of course, once I sit down to talk to her after her being on duty for six hours... she gets a call! Oh well.

Your Week Ahead: When you are at your best, you are unbeatable. Even if you currently feel as if you are far from at your best, it's perfectly possible for you to DO your best this week. Not all triumphs are accomplished in a triumphant frame of mind. Some of the finest achievements in human history have been brought about by people who felt sure, all through their great struggle, that they were wasting their time. The doubt you feel is natural but it's not relevant. Despite it, you've got a mission that must be carried out. Helpful links from Venus and the Sun to Uranus represent your cosmic promise of strong celestial support.

Your Week Ahead Part Two - Love Focus. How do you tell when a scary movie is nearly over? Usually, you tell by the amount of action taking place on the screen. Once the plot has thickened so far as to be all-but rigid, once you start gripping the edge of your seat, you can be fairly sure that you are only minutes away from seeing the credits roll. Keep this in mind over the next few days. The crescendo of drama that's now building up is not really a reason to fear some endlessly intense future. It is your promise of imminent tranquillity. You are about to start moving towards an easier experience of life.

I know or at least I think horoscopes are made to be open to fit almost anyone and their situations. But I can't help to read them and maybe store bits and pieces in the back of my mind. Actually, I kind of read that more as advice... Not all triumphs are accomplished in a triumphant frame of mind.

I just looked out my front door and had to snap a picture.

Yesterday morning I was walking around the house looking for my mom "mom, mom, mom..." then I laughed and realized I sounded like Stewie. And I continued "ma, mummy, mum, ma, mom..." Haha, once I found her... she didn't get why it was so funny. -_-

I've been pretty upset with my friends lately, especially after the whole NYE thing. I was beyond pissed when I got the phone call that once she got to the hospital she denied everything and they let her sign out AMA. I was like wtf, after what I told them they let her go? Clearly after the information I gave them she was unstable and not capable of making that kind of decision for herself. Fucking idiots. I spent Friday night with her and most of Saturday, we finally sat down and she said, okay... I know there are things you have to get off your chest and so let me hear it. I told her most of how I felt and how I thought she's escaped and manipulated every situation and how she could no longer ever say she was "okay." I know her all to well and I told her, we need to step it up and make a plan on how and when to get her help. Monday came and she started with some bullshit and I just told her I didn't want to hear it. Something needs to be done, if plan A didn't work out then she needs to move on to plan B. Monday night she calls me and says, her ex girlfriend wants to get back together and asks, what should I do? Hmph. That made me even more upset, their break up was pretty much what set her off. I told her not to do it but of course just like signing out against medical advice... she wasn't going to listen to me either. No one ever listens to my advice. So why ask, why ask?!!?! Then yesterday she texts me, did you decide on what you wanted to do? She's talking about my birthday. I don't know what I want to do... my TINY circle of friends can't get along and their annoying girlfriends have made it 10x worse. So and so can't be in the same room as so and so. **** girlfriend doesn't get along with anyone, ______ doesn't like to go to straight clubs, **** doesn't like dressing up. UGH. Fucking girls. Then there's some of my cousins... under age? boo :( the other one?... I'm not sure :(

Oh wow, listen to me complain? Yes I would like some cheese with my WhINE.

Just like the day before, work was slow yesterday. However, I spent Monday bs-ing on facebook with my best friend. Yesterday, I spent my day reading, catering to the lazy and answering stupid questions on the phone. Oops, there I go again.

Have you heard of the green flash at sunset? I swear I've seen it once while I was (I think) in Oceanside/Santa Monica I don't know, one of those places with a pier. Most of last Winter a volunteer and I would stand outside waiting to see if it was a green flash day... nothing. So Monday I stood out at sunset and Yesterday too. One of the officers (Anderson) I work with laughed, said it was a Sailor's myth. Davy Jones stuff. It was something I saw only created by my blinking.Then he made a comment... we get two paychecks, you know? One that goes into our bank and the other, we get paid in sunsets. Sunsets are absolutely beautiful, I had to agree. Some people think "you've seen one, you've seen them all." We all have our opinions and I think that is soooo far from the truth. The clouds, the breeze, the water, whether we're watching it alone or watching the sunset with someone else... it's always different. Always beautiful.

Wednesday morning my cousin and I took a drive up to Fullerton, my cousin Sam lives and is going to school there and my cousin April is getting ready to move there and go to FCC. Well anyway, since April and her sisters were driving down, we decided to meet up with them. We spent the day driving around, sharing good laughs and of course, good food. We also played some games, one was called "Loaded Questions". One question that came up was... something about our personal superstitions. Sam answered by saying that however we spend the New Year sets up what's to come for the rest of the year. Whatever you're doing, be happy and make sure to have money in your pockets that way it kind of sets like a good foundation. I don't know... we're Filipino we have some crazy superstitions but anyway. That stuck to me a bit, I didn't want to start 2010 on the wrong foot (at least according to the superstition). I had been upset with my best friend because I had plans to go to her NYE party but she kind of canceled me out. Then I thought, well at least I have my other bestie (we've always spent NYE together) but she was driving up to Riverside to be with her girlfriend. So that was a fail. I was so happy to hear that some of my family was coming over to spend NYE at our house and that definitely turned my frown upside down. So like I said... the superstition has now been in the back of my mind...

Family was over, we were eating and having a good time and my best friend calls...

She decided that she didn't want to come over and was going to spend NYE alone and at home. No matter how much I begged, she insisted that she didn't want to be here. So I let it go. But she kept calling and I kept offering to go get her. Finally at about 11pm, she called me and said "I need help..." So I said, I'm sorry no matter how much you insisted on staying home, I should have just brought you over regardless. I told the fam that I was going to pick her up and I would be back shortly. 11:20pm, I find myself kneeling down on the apartment floor because I scared her... she couldn't remember that I said I would come get her. She was confused, she was agitated and as I was trying to figure out what was going on she ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. I asked her if she drank or took anything and she said no... call an ambulance. The thing is, my best has had some issues, she suffers from extreme depression and I didn't see this coming. I felt terrible, I had seen her a few hours earlier and yeah she was stressed but she never led me to believe she was THAT stressed. And I didn't see it...

12:02 am, I was alone. I just watched my best friend get into an ambulance, I'm sitting smack in the middle of a bad neighborhood and I'm crying my eyes out. That's where the stupid superstition comes into play, I hope for me being alone and crying is not my foundation for 2010. And I hope to God, this event doesn't set hers either.

There's more details to this messy story and after the ambulance but... the most important thing at this point is that she's okay.

Wooooooooooooooow, I'm sure you know there's tons of details missing but just to get some of that out... I feel better. Eek, I feel terrible for starting off with a post like this. I'm definitely closing off the comments, haha, I don't want you to feel like you HAVE to say anything. Because really... how do you respond to any of that... I know I would have no clue what to say. (:

 I hope with all my heart that everyone rang in 2010 with plenty of smiles and love in their hearts. Happy New Year